The man behind the curtain! (owner testimony)

My Testimony: Grace Took My Place

Hi, I'm Lshon, owner and operator of Barabbas, a Christian-based streetwear brand. I’m sharing my testimony to glorify God, introduce myself, and show how grace truly took my place.

I was born on April 1, 1994, in Hendersonville, NC. My parents divorced shortly after my birth, and my relationship with my father became nonexistent. My sister and I were raised by our mom, who did her best, but life wasn’t easy. One of my earliest memories was losing my little cousin in a car accident caused by a drunk driver. Not long after, my mom began using drugs and entered a series of abusive relationships. This created a cycle of instability that left me searching for approval and love.

When I was 11, my mom got sober and turned to God. We were in church every time the doors were open. While this might seem like a blessing, it felt to me like God had replaced her addiction. I still felt unseen. Around the same time, I was introduced to pornography, which compounded my struggles with self-worth and approval.

By high school, I was fixated on women to fill the void in my life. My worth was tied to the girls I dated, and I manipulated them to meet my needs. I didn’t know how to value women or treat them with respect. When relationships couldn’t satisfy me, I turned to drugs, like weed and prescription pills, to numb the pain.

Terrified by my future, I joined the Navy, hoping to start fresh. But my struggles followed me. I battled financial issues, authority, and the deep belief that I was unlovable. I contemplated suicide several times, even planning to jump off my ship during deployment. Yet, something always held me back—a quiet but persistent pull I now know was God’s hand.

After my deployment, I met a young woman who showed me a love I had never experienced before. We eloped in Vegas two weeks later, but marriage didn’t fix my brokenness. Our first son was born prematurely, and the next few years were filled with financial struggles, constant fighting, and another child on the way. I was separated from the Navy due to mental health struggles, and we moved back to North Carolina.

Back home, my past caught up with me. I cheated on my wife multiple times, kept secrets, and spiraled into deeper shame. I was addicted to pornography and constantly sought validation through people-pleasing, but nothing ever satisfied me. My marriage was on the brink of divorce, and I was consumed by depression and suicidal thoughts.

At my lowest point, my mom encouraged me to attend an emotional recovery clinic. Reluctantly, I went. During the sessions, I learned how Satan had filled my mind with lies and that true healing required surrendering to God. For the first time, I began to release my pain to Him.

God met me there in my brokenness. His grace began to heal me, replacing the lies I had believed with His truth. I started loving myself again, which allowed me to accept the love of others. I now know my worth isn’t tied to anyone’s approval—my identity is in Christ alone.

Since then, I’ve experienced real transformation, but I’m still a work in progress. Recently, I confessed the full extent of my infidelity to my wife. While painful, God is teaching me that His grace is sufficient, even in my weaknesses. I’m learning to lean on Him daily as He continues to restore my life, my marriage, and my family.

Today, I’m no longer running from God—I’m running to Him. His grace has given me victory over my past, and through His strength, I have hope for the future. Every day, I remind myself of 2 Corinthians 12:9:

"But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."

This is my story: grace took my place. I’m here today, not because of my strength, but because of God’s unrelenting love and power.